Young and Isolated

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It is not that these men and women don't value family. Douglas, then 25, talked about loss: "Trust is gone. The way people used to love is gone." Rather, the insecurities and uncertainties of their daily lives have rendered commitment a luxury they can't afford.

But these young men and women don't want your pity -- and they don't expect a handout. They are quick to blame themselves for the milestones they have not achieved. Julian, an Army vet from Richmond who was unemployed, divorced and living with his mother at 28, dismissed the notion that his lack of success was anyone's fault but his own: "At the end of the day looking in the mirror, I know where all my shortcomings come from. From the things that I either did not do or I did and I just happened to fail at them." Kelly echoed that: "No one else is going to fix me but me."

This self-sufficiency, while highly prized in our culture, has a dark side: it leaves little empathy to spare for those who cannot survive on their own.